Hey Friends!

This week, it’s another fun episode of things you don’t learn in library school!

YAAAAY

How to become a master of resumes.

You’re lucky if you even get that.

So you need a resume? Yeah.

What do you want to put on it? I don’t know.

My current favorite?

*Patron brings in a tattered/stained resume* Can you help me edit this?

Sure! Do you have the original file? Huh?

The thing you originally typed it out on? Nope.

Maybe on a flash drive or email? Don’t have an email. What’s a flash drive?

Okay, let’s scan it and hope for the best.

Does my resume look good? For liability reasons, I really can’t tell you anything. We don’t want you coming back in a week later saying “I didn’t get the job because I had a bad resume. It’s the library’s fault!”

This is one of those times I’ll thank Microsoft for having resume templates in Word. Speaking of Microsoft…

How to effectively deal with the demon known as “Internet Explorer”.

“It’s because you’re using Internet Explorer.”

90% of all problems can be fixed by simply using Firefox or Chrome. 40% chance their email ends in @aol.com – show of hands?

How to figure out what a patron actually wants.

EVERYBODY gets this person. I’ll give you their lines and you fill in the rest:

Yes, I’m looking for a book…no no, not just ANY book. It’s this one book I remember seeing the other day…or was it last year?

Anyway, I don’t remember the title…or the author…or what it’s about…or when it was published…I read a magazine that said it was good. Maybe it was Oprah who said that…

…But yeah, it’s really important I find it. Like, now.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T FIND IT?!? UGH, WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER THE LIBRARY?

How to get anyone to do almost anything with food.

I’ll admit, I’m not always the most skilled at everything. Sometimes, I just flat need help. For example, I’m not the greatest artist. However, my coworker, Lily, is an amazing artist. I also happen to know that she loves my homemade cream of mushroom and chicken. She gets food, I get the artwork I need for a project. In the workplace, bartering is your friend.

This is exactly how it went down.

Got a movie that the library doesn’t have, and neither does Netflix? I loan you said movie and you do small favor for me in the future.

Have another talent or skill you can trade? Do it. I’d say “skills for bills”, but this is just “skills for skills”.

How to handle that one coworker who has it out for you.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT STAB YOUR COWORKER.

Disliking people happens. Friction happens under pressure. Remember to try and view them as a person who might have just had a really bad day. Otherwise, everything they do looks bad. “Ew, look at how Sarah eats those crackers and cheese…what a jerk.”

If you need more laughs, don’t forget to check out the previous installments:

• Part One: the original
• Part Two: the hardest part of the job
• Part Three: the legal/practical side of the profession

Did any of these hit close to home? Got any stories you want to share? Comment here or connect with me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and they can be included in the next library jobs post!

Justin Brasher, Brash Librarian